It seem like I've misunderstood the original post.
You both wanted to disable directory caching, right?
https://winscp.net/eng/docs/directory_cache

I'd like every directory to get refreshed every visit to that directory.
But I'm not getting that.
I have enabled "Automatically refresh directory after operation".
I have not enabled "Refresh remote panel every..." because I don't want to do that.

Yes, make sure you have Automatically refresh directory after operation enabled (what is by default).

I see in Options, under Environment > Panels > Remote, there are 3 checkboxes, two of which control "Automatically refresh directory after operation" and "Refresh remote panel every X secs".

I guess I have to make do with these two options.

When I change folders on the server side, how can I make the server side window refresh the file list automatically. Now I have to always hit Ctrl-R. Shouldn't there be a way so the file list auto-updates so I don't need to remember to hit Ctrl-R for refresh?

Thank you.